From New York: Available for long term leasing ... it's the TOP TEN LIST for Thursday, May 11, 1995. And now, a man who just finished watching "E.R." ... David Letterman!

"Signs Something Is Wrong With Your School Lunch"

As presented on the 5/11/95 broadcast of LATE SHOW with DAVID LETTERMAN

10. The "surprise" in the "vegetable surprise" is a nasty case of botulis
9. The chowder's served in same bucket the janitor soaks his mop in
8. A slew of white lab mice disappear and for weeks they're serving albino pot pies
7. When you say the name "Steve," your pudding shudders as if to say, "Yes -- that's me. My name is Steve"
6. Robert Shapiro shows up to order DNA testing on it
5. That Rice Krispies sound is coming from the pats of butter
4. You eat something that doesn't taste too bad, then realize it's the styrofoam tray
3. Hours after eating, your hair mysteriously falls out of your head (vt)
2. You see a lunch lady straining spaghetti through her hairnet
1. Chicken a la Don King

[Music: "School Days" by Stanley Clarke]

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