From New York: We're loopy from the bus fumes ... it's the TOP TEN LIST for Monday, September 25, 1995. And now, a man who recycles everything -- in fact, we used this introduction last April ... David Letterman!

"Martha Stewart's Worst Tips For Living"

As presented on the 9/25/95 broadcast of LATE SHOW with DAVID LETTERMAN

10. If you notice a guest using the "wrong" fork, pick up the "right" fork and jam it into his head
9. Heavily sedated pets make unusual centerpieces
8. Add glitter to every damn thing you own
7. Nothing spruces up bathroom like potpourri & a stack of wrestling magazines
6. Kick off your O.J. dinner party by having Johnnie Cochran lie about what's in the chili
5. Old gym shorts stuffed with cat hair make great throw pillows
4. To liven up a "black tie only" affair, wear only a black tie
3. You want livin'? Take a Big Mac, coat with butter, then refry the bastard
2. Household putty is an excellent way to fill embarrassing gap between teeth
1. To enliven any salad try eating it while hanging by your hair [Earlier in the show, Dave featured a troupe of acrobats who hung suspended by their hair]

[Music: "Hair" by the Cowsills]

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