My Trip to see Dave

Wednesday, July 19, 1995.

10:30 AM

Woke up in a Manhattan apartment that I was sharing with my cousin who I would be going to the big show with.

10:35 AM

Fell asleep.

11:00 AM

Woke up again, got mad at myself for oversleeping, got up and rushed to get ready to go.

11:35 AM

Got on the subway heading towards 50th street. Couldn't understand a single word that the conductor said.

11:55 AM

Got off the subway at 50th street and headed to the Ed Sullivan theater.

12:00 Noon

Arrived at the front doors of the theater, saw the standby audience waiting for standby tickets in the lobby of the theater. I went up to a CBS page to ask him what time "real" tickets would be numbered-- he informed me that all of the standby tickets had been distributed for that day. I repeated my question a little slower-- this time he told me to come back at 2:00, not before, and another page would number tickets then.

12:15 PM

After spending a few minutes in "Dave's neighborhood", we decide to hang out by the front doors of the theater to be first in line for the 2:00 numbering. To our surprise, there were already four other people with real tickets waiting in line.

12:30 PM

After listening to the conversation of the two people closest to us, we learned that they were from Indiana. I introduced myself as a Minnesotan (well, I am), and we began to carry on conversations from Dave to politics to the weather.

12:50 PM

By now, quite a few people had lined up behind us, and the two siblings, my cousin, and myself had worked out a rotation for answering the one and only question asked by bystanders: "Where can we get standby tickets?" We each got to answer at least four times.

1:00 PM

The manager from Joe "G"'s Pizza came out of his restaurant (two doors down from the Ed) and ushered all of us (about 75 people) to the edge of the sidewalk so we would be out of the way of the other pedestrians. He then launched into a speech about how "every day I come out here and tell the people going to the Letterman show what is going to happen in the next few hours." At this point, we were saying to ourselves "who the hell does this guy think he is? He doesn't work for CBS." However, he turned out to be quite nice and he offered the group use of the restrooms in his restaurant, as well as his service as our personal waiter. He must make a lot of money each day because almost everybody in line ordered a slice of pizza, or at least a lovely beverage (my words, not his).

1:15 PM

We were getting bored, so I went into the Santino Photo Electronic store, and bought a deck of crappy New York souvenir playing cards. The price tag said $1.95, but when I went up to the desk to pay, Mr. Ely (yes, he was actually there) barked "Two Dollars!" which I handed over to him and he pocketed on the spot. I left the store and got back in line.

1:20 PM

Our friends from Indiana played cards with me and my cousin. We couldn't come up with a game that we all knew, so I taught them the basics of five-card draw poker (no, we didn't play for money), but that soon got boring.

1:30 PM

The two brothers attempted to teach us the game of "Eucher". It was quite strange at first, but I seemed to get the hang of it right around 2:00.

2:00 PM

Right on schedule, a CBS page came out, got us in to an orderly line once again, and then began numbering tickets. He told us not to come back until 4:00. "There's plenty to do in this part of New York for two hours. Don't come back in fifteen minutes saying `Okay, I've seen New York', because you haven't." Our friends from Indiana got ticket numbers three and four. My cousin and I got numbers five and six. We said our good-byes, knowing that we would be seeing each other again in a couple of hours, and explored Dave's neighborhood.

2:05 PM

We made our first stop at Rupert Jee's Hello Deli. Rupert was very nice, and I bought a beverage, as well as a "Hello Deli" T-shirt (for only $10, it was a great deal).

2:07 PM

On the way out of the Hello Deli, I saw Tony "Inky" Mendez walking down 53rd street coming towards us to enter the Ed Sullivan Theater Office Building which is right next to the Hello Deli. As we passed I said "Tony!?", he turned, smiled, and waved.

2:10 PM

We made a stop at the Sloan's supermarket (For those of you who remember the bit where Dave bought a canned ham for everyone in the audience, this was the store). Here we bought some plastic scissors and a can of yams.

2:15 PM

We stopped at the drug store a few doors down from Sloans. We purchased some scotch tape.

2:25 PM

Our next stop was an art supply store on 57th street (I think). We picked up a red marker and a black marker.

2:35 PM

We went back into the Hello Deli to make our creation, a can of "Big Ass Yams", a success.

2:40 PM

Tony "Inky" Mendez, the cue card boy, came in to the deli and shouted to one of the people behind the counter, "Hey Santos, what kind of soup do you have today?" Santos replied "Chicken Noodle or Turkey Rice." Inky had the latter. I said "Hi" to him for the second time that day. He recognized me and said an enthusiastic "Hi" back to me. I asked him if he would mind posing for a picture with the "Big Ass Yams". He said that he didn't mind at all, so I handed him the yams and we took a picture. He then suggested that I be in the picture as well. I realized that he had a good idea, so the second picture was me, Tony, and the yams. Neither of the pictures came out.

2:45 PM

We left the Hello Deli and puttered around the area of the Ed Sullivan Theater, including a stop at K & L's Rock America. I decided that I would wait until after the big show to buy anything more. I didn't want to have to lug bags of purchases into the theater.

4:00 PM

Right on time, we went back to the Ed. Already, quite a few people had lined up, but we secured our places in the front of the line with our already-numbered tickets.

4:05 PM

Our friends from Indiana showed up, this time with their parents. We were introduced, and then they explained that they had tickets for the next week, but they weren't going to be in New York then. They decided that it couldn't hurt to try to "exchange" tickets with one of the Late Show staffers. I was pretty skeptical, but those two tickets gave them priority over the standby audience-- and they got in!

4:15 PM

A CBS page came out and told us that if we needed to use the bathroom, to do so then because we would not be able to use them during the show. I decided to go in if nothing else just to get out of the heat. It was quite cool in the lobby, but not nearly as cold as actually in the theater.

4:30 PM

A CBS page came out and announced to us that "The bathrooms are now closed!" He repeated this announcement four times. After the fourth time, I asked him "Are the bathrooms now closed?" He glared at me and said "Yes, the bathrooms are now closed."

4:35 PM

Another page came out and told us that at 5:00 we would enter the lobby, and then we would go in to the audience area at about 5:15. He then gave the floor over to a female staffer who hurriedly passed out an audience questionnaire that asked if we owned a business that we wanted promoted on national TV. I knew immediately that the Late Show was going to play "Tell Us About Your Business." Sure enough, three people were picked out of this group, and another questionnaire was passed out asking us if we had any special talents, and if we would be able to come back the next day (for an edition of Stupid Human Tricks).

4:55 PM

Yet another page came out, and told us to get ready to go into the theater. He asked us to make sure that we didn't have any goofy T-shirts or hats, and that if we did we would have to get rid of them. He also told us that if we had any "gifts" that we should give them to a page and they would "make sure Dave gets them." "Yeah, right" I thought to myself as I held on to my can of yams.

5:00 PM

The page directed us to go into the theater. He also told us to rip the stub off of the ticket and to hand it to the page taking tickets at the door. We walk in to the lobby and make a left turn into a separate room in the lobby. Once all of the first-floor people were in the room, the doors were closed and Laurie Diamond, Dave's personal assistant, came out and told us all to be excited because the other people were going to be "stuck up in the balcony." We all cheered, and there were actual hoots of joy! She then went on to tell us to enjoy the show, and if there were any questions to feel free to ask her or any of the pages. The four of us raised our hands and asked her if she could repeat what she said because we couldn't hear her! She also told us to write her a letter telling us about our Late Show experience. We thanked her and then speculated where we would get to sit. We were hoping to be sitting in the front row near the band (where Dave does his monologue). We asked a page where we would be sitting and she said that she wasn't sure, but that we couldn't change seats once they assigned one to us. This was, of course, reasonable because if everyone whined about their seats, they wouldn't be able to start the show on time.

5:10 PM

We began our journey through the big doors and into the theater! It was cold in there (to keep the jokes fresh, of course)! The first two people got seats in the very front row on the side with Dave's desk (stage left for you acting buffs). The four of us sat in the second row (the first only had three seats). These seats turned out to be excellent; much better than where we had wanted to sit originally. The seats were made out of suede leather, and they were quite comfortable. We sat in anticipation of the king of late night.

5:15 PM

The warm-up act (kind of an oxymoron since it was freezing in there) was a stand-up comic, Walli Collins. He set the ground rules: No shouting out in the middle of an interview, no screaming at your hometown's name, and other stuff like that. He said nothing about not giving Dave a standing ovation, and I was pleased. He then gave us a lesson in cheering, and told us that we would have to cheer at every commercial break. This didn't seem like too bad a task until the last half of the show when my hands were very cold. It hurt to clap! Walli then told us to sit back and relax and practice our cheering skills as "Dave and Paul go Golfing!" We watched the taped comedy bit from a few months prior where Dave and Paul went out to the golf course and acted goofy. Some of you may remember it from the following description:

Music: Walking on Sunshine
Reoccurring Bit: Dave drives off just as Paul tries to get in the golf cart
Other Notable: Dave goes scuba-diving for golf balls in the water hazard. Paul knocks off Dave's head with a 9-iron.

5:25 PM

Walli introduced the band members one by one as they played "Basket Case" by Green Day-- one of my favorite Late Show Orchestra songs. Towards the end of the song, Walli introduced Paul who came out to all of us cheering and applauding. Paul joined in for the last few notes of the song, and then he introduced Dave.

5:28 PM

Dave entered the stage without his suitcoat.

"Hi everybody, thanks for coming out here tonight! Biff! How much time?"
"A minute fifteen"
"A minute fifty? Good."
"No, a minute fifteen ."
"Fifteen?"
"Yes, fifteen, well actually, one minute now."
"Okay. Does anybody out here have any questions?"

The four of us immediately raised our hands to ask Dave if he would trade a Big Ass Ham for a can of Big Ass Yams. After all, we figured that if we made the trade, Dave would mention the yams on the show, and the cameras would flip to us. It didn't happen. Dave called on a woman in the center section who complained "I can't see from here-- can I move?" Dave replied "Well ma'am, as long as I can see you, you can see me. We'll have to do something if I can't see you at all times!" This got a laugh from the audience, and Dave thanked us again for coming, and then ran off stage as the band started to play the opening theme.

5:30 PM

"From New York-- It's the Late Show with David Letterman. Tonight: actor Hugh Grant, and singer Reba MacEntire. And now-- David Letterman!!!" shouted Bill Wendell. The entire audience gave him a standing ovation. It was great! Cheers, applause, hoots! My cousin was waving the can of yams around so much that a page came over and took them away.

5:35 PM

The monologue was good, we all laughed and applauded. Now Dave entered the audience for "Tell us about your business." It was impromptu comedy as Dave did not meet the people before the show. Paul and Reba, on the other hand, didn't meet the people either, but they did see their questionnaires. It is notable, however, that they were able to write three short funny songs in about forty-five minutes. Pretty impressive.

(I need to check the show for the remaining content for this page!)

6:33 PM

After the band has played through the "Worldwide Pants" screen, they stopped and Dave picked up a microphone and said "Thank you all for coming out here tonight, come back anytime!" Apparently Dave doesn't realize that there is a six month wait for tickets! Anyway, as soon as he told us to "come back anytime," Paul and the band picked up from where they left off for an abbreviated ending to the Late Show theme. Man oh man, the band really, *really* sounded great! The music was loud, powerful, loud, energetic, and, did I mention loud?

6:35 PM

As we're leaving the theater I snapped a shot of the inside of the theater. It didn't come out either.

6:40 PM

We said good bye to our new friends from Indiana. Later I regretted not getting their address so we could keep in touch.

6:45 PM

We went into K & L's Rock America to purchase Late Show merchandise and we saw the kid who was "so excited he dropped his gum." I didn't meet Mujibur or Sirajul this visit, but the "coast to coast tour" shirt that I bought had Mujibur's signature on it.

6:50 PM

We went to a restaurant and then back to the apartment.

---

Thursday, July 20, 1995.

12:00 Noon

Before heading back to New Jersey, and ultimately home to Minnesota, we decided to swing by the Ed once more to re-capture the memories of the previous day. While we were walking down 53rd street, I saw a hot dog/pretzel stand. This sight isn't all that uncommon in New York City, except that this pretzel stand had just been wheeled out of the side door of the Ed Sullivan Theater building by none other than Late Show staffer Pat Farmer. Thinking something was going on, I walked up to Pat and asked him if they were going to be taping anything there. He played innocent for a minute, but then he told me to take a close look at the pretzels. I did, and I noticed that one of them was rather furry! He then reached into the cart and flipped a switch which made the furry pretzel wiggle around! How cool! I took a picture of this (Which *did* come out-- I'll scan it in one of these days...) and then thanked Mr. Farmer for his help. The wiggling pretzel appeared about a week later as a "live toupee" stand....

2:00 PM

Just as we were about to leave the whole Ed Sullivan Theater area, I noticed someone familiar walking down the street with a football in his hand. It was none other than Mr. David Letterman! As I frantically took pictures, I called out "Hey, Dave!"-- he looked over and waved his hand with the football in it seconds before walking into the theater. A really cool ending to a really fun week.

2:45 PM

It aint over yet, Chester. As my cousin and I were walking to the Port Authority (The big NYC bus depot), who did we run into except one of the two brothers from Indiana and his dad! What a small world! We told him of our experience earlier in the day, and then I got his name and address in Indiana so we could keep in touch (if only I can find where I wrote it down...).

July 19 is still to be continued...

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